Alright, let’s talk about purpose within the context of personal practice.
Purpose, and having a sense of what I’m supposed to be doing, is an issue I struggle with on a regular basis. I’m the kind of person who sets a goal, strives towards it, meets the goal (or the goal becomes irrelevant to my current path), and then suddenly realizes that I no longer have a point in the distant future to run towards. I do this with mundane life and my practice in general. It’s disorienting, and frequently leads to me spending large chunks of time running back and forth, wasting energy moving myself in circles trying to figure out what to do next, rather than being able to fall back on a fundamental system that governs the action aspects of my psyche and processes.
Without having a solid foundation on which to build a practice for day-to-day life, I found myself having to start from scratch every single time I reached a goal, or any time a goal became irrelevant to me. It became exhausting. While I still find it worthwhile to make an effort to reflect on changes in my life, milestones reached and the like, I felt like I was reinventing the wheel at every turn.
Recently, I took some time to pull out a tarot deck with a particular question in mind:
Why am I a practitioner of Craft? What is my personal Purpose within my paradigm of magic and witchcraft?
I figured it was the best place to start before I fleshed out other questions about my goals and beliefs.
I used a type of meditative tarot for this reading, using both intuition and connection to the Divine Flow. It’s important to note both of those aspects being present, because a true and lasting sense of purpose is going to come from within, as well as the hand dealt out to me in this life, as it were.
The spread shown to the left isn’t the reading I did for myself, but rather an illustrative tool to show the card placement.
Card 1 is a signifier card that I had chosen for myself during a short ritual prior to doing the reading (in my case, it was the Page of Wands). For a lot of readings, I will ask that the Divine Flow choose a signifier for me, and use that as part of the reading as a whole, allowing it to show me a reflection of myself that I may have been blind to, depending on how in tune with myself and where I stand at the moment. For this particular reading, I knew coming into it which card signified my current state, and my point of purpose, so I was able to start the reading with that.
Card 1: The Querent; a signifier card
Card 2 & 3: The Querent’s personal purpose, the aspects of themselves that are within their abilities; their reason for practicing the craft
Card 4 & 5: The foundation. Why the Querent’s personal purpose has become what it is, and the past relevant things that form current beliefs and purpose
Card 6 & 7: Outside influences. Things completely outside of the Querent that affect their purpose, seen or unseen
When I did the reading for myself, I found that I had moved away from where I should be, causing myself more confusion and a misplaced sense of loss. By returning to my roots, I can find my purpose within the craft as a Seeker, spirit worker, mover among the beyond, communicator with all manner of things, be it the dead or spirits or gods. A builder of bridges.
These are things that I’ve known for myself in some small sense, and spent all of last year forgetting. Last year was a continual parade of the suit of swords – a lot of tough decisions and pain, yes, but also me spending so much time in cerebral thought that I didn’t let myself stop and breathe into any of my other aspects. That I drew the Page of Wands for myself in the initial ritual (and the appearance of more wands in my reading) gave me a new sense of hope and excitement that I can move into my true place of being and have harmony in myself there.
At some point in the future, I will change again, some part of me will break past the wondrous seeking nature of the Page of Wands, but when that happens, I will still have my purpose, and my answers to fall back on. And that’s pretty exciting.